How Do I Ask Him For More of a Commitment?

Dear Portland,

I have been seeing Sean on and off for a few months. When we are together we have a great time. We laugh, I can really talk to him and we have a fabulous sexual chemistry. Yet, between dates he drops off the radar. We are both pretty busy , but when I call him, he usually doesn't get back to me for days or weeks then calls and suggests meeting. I want things to be more serious and can't wait forever. What should I do because I  want more of a committment.

Dear More Committment Wanted,

Sorry but this is a perfect example of a woman not managing her expectations. Although Sean is fun and you have chemistry, he has not said he cares for you and would like to be more than friends or asked you to be his girlfriend. Until he says any of those things he is a really cool friend that you have fun with but you should continue to see other men. Because he is most likely seeing other women. 

 

Stop calling him too. If I knew someone wasn't going to answer when I call or was going to get back to me weeks later and act like nothing happened--yeah stop calling. You said that you have fabulous sexual chemistry, right? I'm not sure if that means you have had sex with him or really want too... but please dont if you haven't. Not every guy is meant for you no matter how great he seems. And Sean's actions are saying he isnt ready for anything serious with you.

Look at it this way...you just met one of many nice guys out there ...and the next one you meet will be yours.

Keep Dating Love,

Portland

Is it Necessary to Play Games at the Beginning of a Relationship?

Dear Portland,

I'm dating this guy and I really like him. We met at work, but recently his position was moved to our downtown office so I never see him during the day anymore-which actually is a good thing. He asked me for my phone number and we talk pretty frequently and have gone out a few times also. However, lately he is not calling when he says he's going too and I'm getting really frustrated because whenever he calls I'm always available. It's not like I don't have a life, it's just that I consider him a priority in my life so..when he calls I answer. It's just that simple for me. I don't like playing games but I really feel like this guy is beginning to take me for granted. I feel like he's playing games with me. Portland, I need your advice because I really don't want to play any games.

No Games!

Dear No Games,

I feel your pain but to a small degree there is some game playing that goes with just meeting someone but I would say its more about the overall process of introduction and getting to know him in the first few weeks- not playing cat and mouse.

But with this guy, I think there is a level of him either playing the field vs. playing games mixed with a slight bit of immaturity. What you don't mention and which is kind of important for me to fully answer your question is has he expressed feelings and more importantly asked you to be exclusive? If he has and he is acting in this way, I say cut your losses and stop answering his calls because he is not worth anymore of your time.  If he has not asked you to be his girlfriend and is acting shady then he may be seeing other people and you are not the same priority that you have made him. My recommendation either way is the go out and meet other guys and be open to meeting a guy who will make you a priority. Then if Mr.Games comes back  around...or not... your life is filled with other options either way.

The Game of Love...Love,

Portland