He Keeps Buying Me Lingerie...

Dear Portland,

My husband keeps buying me lingerie for my birthday. I know I should be appreciative, and I am, to some degree, but every year it doesn’t fit. I’m a plus-size woman and it’s usually hideous, but most of all it isn’t for me. Lingerie is really for him to enjoy that night. I want a gift for me, like jewelry, not something I’m going to wear for 2 minutes, wash the next day and toss in the drawer.

Upset

Dear Upset,

I get it. You want your husband to buy a more personal gift for your birthday that only you can enjoy, like a piece of jewelry, AND something sexy, that's pretty and fits.

Although ugly and ill fitting—I do like that he’s taking the time to shop for you, so let’s not spoil his fun. He probably enjoys the whole shopping adventure, unlike most men who would be a nervous-wreck in the lingerie section of Macy’s or Victoria’s Secret.

The size part—I do understand as no one feels sexy in something that doesn’t fit. Simply ask him to get you the next size. Fredericks of Hollywood, www.fredericks.com offers various sizes, props and accessories too.

Please overlook his poor taste, as he obviously is pleased with his purchase and you did say it will only be on for a few minutes—so just smile and say thank you.

As for the jewelry…I consulted two of my married girlfriends on this one. To ensure that you get, let’s say, that bracelet you want, tell him, in a nice way, what and where to purchase if you don’t trust his taste here. Better yet, put it on hold and tell the salesperson your husband is coming in to buy “this”- then send hubby off to the mall. When he gets home you can slip into your new outfit—that fits—and “officially” thank him for your birthday gifts.

“Birthday Suit,” Love, Portland