I Think I'm Falling In Love

Dear Portland,

I think I'm falling in love. I'm 28 years old and I've been dating this guy for 8 months now and he's funny, intelligent, outgoing and we have many of the same future goals. When I'm with him time flies and when we're apart I look forward to seeing him. We have become an important part of each others lives. The only problem is we have not spent an extended period of time together. We have not taken any long trips, or really have had any crisis' to weather so it makes me a little scared. I really want to know him as the complete man; not just the one who is great when everything is going right.

Falling In Love,

Dear Falling In Love,

I'd hoped for a question like this, because it's a bit of a challenge for me as I’ve had friends as well as myself in similar relationships. In a few cases the guy turned out to be a NO!

So, congratulations on meeting a nice guy. I applaud you for what seems like a pretty grounded approach to this relationship. Many times women meet a man, and he has all the above qualities. Then we rush into the relationship too quickly and the "real" person comes out that we don't like so much. I think 6-8 months is about the time you’ll start to see unpleasant personality traits in someone— you know when, as my friend Kym has said “the imposter leaves and the real person steps out.”

I suggest that you ask his advice about something in your life e.g work, school etc. where you might have some challenges. Or if you have car trouble or a car question, call him and ask his opinion or call him before AAA just to see how he handles it. Whether he comes to your rescue, calls a friend who is close by to help...whatever, it will give you better insight on how he may act in a crisis when you are in need. However, I’d stay away from money and family issues because those can be hard to navigate and subjective. If all goes well, then discuss a weekend trip and have fun but don’t look for anything negative to occur- just listen to your heart and especially your woman’s intuition (your gut).

“Have Fun Falling In Love” Love, Portland